Hello? Mr. Bus?
You drove away a long time ago.
I miss you.
Please come back and whisk my dear children to a land of higher learning…
Mr. Bus
31 Friday Jul 2009
Posted in Motherhood
Monthly Archives: July 2009
new news
22 Wednesday Jul 2009
Posted in Writing
So, here we are, blogfriends: I’ve been blogging for six months, and am ready to shake it up a little, go for a blog makeover, a little redecorating and shuffling and trying something different. Crazy talk! I like it — this feels fresh and new to me, and maybe even easier to read and navigate for my readers. I find all this exciting, which is a red flag to me that I may need to get out more.
Now for a writing update: I have submitted two more essays to anthologies, and am waiting to hear if I am a finalist for either book. My email mailbox had become merely a repository for umpteen writing newsletters (yes, I am still reading too much about writing instead of writing about writing). Now that I am eagerly awaiting an email confirmation that I am still in the running, checking email has become much more fun again. And I only check 10 times a day, tops.
One of the [keeping-fingers-crossed] publishers is F+W Media’s Cup of Comfort book series. Incidentally, this website includes a wonderful blog and member forum that outlines the calls for submissions and the status of each title; it also includes very interesting posts by the editor Colleen Sell — her experiences weeding through stories, and compiling a tight collection that will appeal to their readership. She shares many of her life experiences that shaped the writer and editor she is today.
The second possible publisher is The Ultimate Book Series from HCI Books, which was the publisher of my first published story (did I mention it was published?). Their website also explains everything a writer needs to know about submitting to books of this genre. The whole process is quite straight-forward and enjoyable and HCI was a joy to work with the first time around.
As a contributing author in an anthology, I reaped the benefits of their publicist, who sent out press releases in all major markets highlighting any local authors who were included in the book. As a result of the publicist’s efforts, I will have my first radio interview tomorrow. It is on a small, local public radio station, for a weekly feature called “Grandparenting Today”. I will tell heart-warming (and perhaps cautionary) tales about potty-training and lying and chocolate cake. I will try to be engaging and funny and appealing to an audience of, well, another generation; one who may or may not be interested in potty stories. At a certain age, diapers are not funny anymore.
I am excited, nervous and seriously wondering what I will talk about for 30 minutes. There is an old Saturday Night Live skit about a public radio interview that keeps running through my head… I do not want to be that guest. I think they talked about radishes for 15 minutes. Yeah… ummm… okay…..
Wish me luck.
making faces
18 Saturday Jul 2009
Posted in Photography, something important, I'm sure
Tags
Perhaps it was a function of the pace of our recent vacation; perhaps I was just randomly delirious — but I kept seeing faces in unexpected places. I’ve noticed before that, particularly when I travel, I will suddenly recognize a face in a crowd, then realize it is just someone who looks like someone I know, but not really. I guess my pesky brain tries so hard to put the familiar back into the unfamiliar when I am out of my comfort zone. Those, however, are actually faces.
Turns out I am making stuff up all the time. According to an article from Learnhub, “Sensor vs. Eye – What’s the Difference?, when we think about “seeing” something, we are actually talking about the “eye-brain” system that adds lots of post-processing to what actually comes in the eye.
“Outside that very narrow range, our brain fills in a lot of the details that we think we see from moment to moment, but is actually not being “seen” in the same sense as what’s in the center of view. (Of course, this comment will inevitably beget the philosophical discussion: what does it mean to “see,” exactly?)”
The article goes on to make interesting comparisons to what a camera “sees” and how a photographic image differs from the picture we take in our brain. (Wow! This is almost as interesting as the Quantum Physics Theory of Missing Socks!)
Apparently I have a busy post-processor, because it fills in lots of details. If only my memory was as detail-oriented. The good news is that I saw more smiley faces in inanimate objects than I saw frowns. I think that is a good sign.
a year of no watch
17 Friday Jul 2009
Posted in Motherhood, something important, I'm sure, Writing
Tags
Dustin Wax, Gretchen Rubin, procrastination, The Happiness Project, The Writer's Technology Companion, time management, watch
It is the one year anniversary of my decision to stop wearing a watch.
This would, on the surface, appear to be an illogical decision. Those who know me personally know that I have long been habitually late. I would joke that I arrived two weeks after my due date (true, my poor mother), and I never made up the lost time. Actually, I became 15 minutes late around seventh grade, and maintained that 15 minutes of tardiness for the next 30 years. It is not really a joke though — it is disrespectful to all those around me who have to wait for my idiosyncrasies to arrive where I am supposed to be. It also does not set a very good example for my kids. Jeez, how hard can it be to just get somewhere on time?
Without a lot of bothersome self-deprecating commentary here, I do think The Tardinesss is related to perfectionism. I would always glance at my watch and think I must accomplish just this one more thing before I needed to ________ (insert deadline here). A lethal mix when combined with a sketchy sense of time management and a strong propensity to procrastinate.
So, last summer, I took off my watch and vowed to change a life-long bad habit. Without the crutch of glancing at my wrist and thinking “oh, I must do that before I go”, I had to consciously:
1) seek out the actual time
THEN
2) make choices for what to do next
Occasionally, if I can not find a clock (and my cell phone is once again inexplicably dead), I will still ask strangers for the time. Most people actually look happy to tell me, like it reminds them of a time-gone-by when people actually talked to one another and made eye contact. To increase my chances of a pleasant encounter, I do tend to seek out those who are not texting at the time.
I spent the first weeks of this experiment continuing to look down at my wrist only to see it was a hair past a freckle. But somewhere along the way I found (some of) my lost 15 minutes. I am now only occasionally late, sometimes ON TIME, and a few times I have shocked people by being early. It feels good. It is a time-management work in progress.
I recently found a great article with some tips on how to be on time. Author Dustin Wax shares “10 Ways to Make Yourself More Punctual“. I am going to incorporate more of these nifty tricks into my routine. Just FYI, Dustin is also the author of a useful blog The Writer’s Technology Companion.
And, of course, I need to be remember not to let the pendulum swing too far to the other side. As usual, Gretchen Rubin at the Happiness Project provides excellent perspective, this time for not being too rigid about being on time. She has the opposite problem of never being tardy, but her advice still brings balance to my quest.
So, not sporting a watch is working for me. After wearing one for 30 years, its conspicuous absence is like a string tied around my finger, except with less blood flow restriction. I still have my cuckoo clock, but that does not count, not just because I do not wear it on my wrist, but because it does not actually keep time. It just keeps ticking, which keeps me clicking (on the keys…)
Now if only I could mail cards to arrive on (or before) the desired date… hhhmmmm, maybe it is that crutch, the calendar…?
evolutionary art
10 Friday Jul 2009
Posted in Photography
Nature is the ultimate artist.
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Even if the art is evolutionary camouflage, it is still impressive in design.
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This little guy also has a spiffy design — but from now on, every time I hear the phrase “it could come back to bite you in the butt”, I will think of him:
the truth about cats and dogs
09 Thursday Jul 2009
Posted in get along like cats and dogs
Upon our return from vacation, each pet had her own trademark greeting for us.
The dog spent 16 nights at a kennel, with, I’m guessing, approximately 100 dogs barking 24 hours a day; the cat spent two relaxing weeks lounging in the comfort and quiet of her own home, made even more peaceful without children dashing about and no canine predators to chase her.
The cat looked relaxed and refreshed. Of course, she also had her masseuse (aka cat sitter) stop by to check on her regularly. I suspect the cat sitter gives her massages… She looked relatively happy to see us, at least until the kids came in.
“Oh, gee, you’re home already? Look at me! By napping 23 hours a day, I erased all my stress-related kitty eye wrinkles and frown lines. See how great I look?
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“Wow — let me tell you, what a great vacation without the d…. WHAT THE ???”
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“YOU BROUGHT THE DOG BACK??????????”
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Conversely, the dog was extremely happy to see the cat. And us. And her house. And her yard. And everything.
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“Ohboyohboyohboy, kitty, I am sooooo happy to see you! Is it really you? Did you miss me too?? HUh? Huh? HUH?
JaneJaneJaneJaneJANE, am I dreaming?? I thought I would never see you again! I thought you were eaten at the the watering hole!
I’m so happyhappyhappyhappyhappyhappyohboyohboyohboyohboy!”
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Kitty then went outside, preferring the company of the coyote to all of us embarrassing idiots. Although not before rubbing against the dog’s legs.
Methinks, like someone else we know, she likes the pup more than she lets on…
10 things I learned on vacation
08 Wednesday Jul 2009
Posted in Motherhood, seasons
Tags
1. 15 days on the road is exponentially longer than 11.
2. The Ford F-350 Super-Duty has superior towing capacity. We did not actually drive one — I just picked up this trivia from the conversations around me.
3. If the Yosemite Lodge pamphlets and wall placards say “don’t leave your windows open if you have food in the room”, it is a good idea to heed their advice.
4. The shiny red HHR looks really cool in the rental car Emerald Aisle, but is smaller than it seems at first (giddy) glance.
5. It takes less than five minutes after returning home to hear the Ode To Joy again, and that’s a good thing.
6. If the jam-packed-whirlwind-o’-fun trip itinerary does not plan for a down day of doing nothing, my body will create a down day against my will.
7. Immodium really works.
8. Turns out I love those boys (all three of them) even more than I thought.
9. My kid will eat squid.
AND,
10. No matter how good the trip, I am always happy to be back home.
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As a bonus, here’s #11 :
Fish with big lips are kinda creepy (and the Monterey Bay Aquarium is spectacular).
little sparklers
05 Sunday Jul 2009
Posted in Motherhood, seasons
Tags
So, those days may go slow, but the years do go fast…
a trip through their eyes
02 Thursday Jul 2009
Posted in Motherhood, seasons
We are having a fantastic vacation. As with any extended trip, some things have gone awry but many things have gone amazingly well, with much good fortune and some timely lucky breaks. It is our longest family trip ever, filled with lots of priceless memories and lots and lots of time together. All together. Together in one hotel room and one intermediate size car.
Did I mention lots of togetherness?
Vacations have a way of inviting expectations; they sneak into the suitcase as we pack, unawares. It is true, on this trip in particular, where Don and I are taking the boys back for the first time to where we used to live, and finally enjoying the opportunity to take them to all of our old favorite places. We have looked forward to this trip for years, with dreams of how it will be with our sons at our side, gamely hiking countless miles of beautiful trails and scenic vistas. (Does anyone see a red flag?) Yes, of course, it was inevitable that these very destinations, golden California memories for us, are viewed by two young boys in a very different light.
So, I have been given the privilege of viewing the family vacation through a boy’s eyes… and here is how it looks:
Every mountaintop vista or Yosemite cliff or San Francisco hilltop scenic view is evaluated based on projected flight speed, lift and anticipated trajectory of a paper airplane (which we would not let them throw, much to their consternation). Every rushing mountain stream or coastal tidepool wave is benchmarked by how far and fast the S.S. Styrofoam would travel… but, alas, we did not let them pack their homemade “ship” on this trip either. So basically, Don and I are just big spoil-sports who take them to cool places but then won’t let them test the laws of physics. Damn the need to not litter and to preserve our national parks!
And the cars — oh, the cars! As we drive Highway 1 along the coast, or up and down forested mountain roads and past national landmarks, they keep a running commentary on every car we pass, what liter engine and how much torque it has, and was it an XT or an EX? Many hours of entertainment (and heated debate) on the specifics of a car that is now a quarter mile behind us, yet still oh so very fascinating.
About 25 times, Don popped a vein in his temple and “told” them to stop talking about cars and look at the scenery. But being a boy at heart himself, about 10 seconds later he would see a really cool car and he could not help himself, he would comment on the year, make and model and start up the whole automotive conversation all over again. I started a “Car Jar”, which is like a “Swear Jar” wherein whoever commits the infraction of discussing another auto would have to put in a quarter. The proceeds could then potentially be used to buy me some Xanax. The Car Jar lasted about 45 minutes, because the boys did not have any money and Don ended up with the most infractions and all of everyone’s quarters had to be used for SF parking meters anyway. Sigh. I just lapsed into a coma for a short time to calm down. Could everyone please just look at the trees and the flowers?
On a more positive note, we have walked many, many miles of incredible scenery, and eventually this exhausted the small ones so thoroughly that they could no longer focus their vision on cars. Plus, since we stayed on the valley floor of Yosemite, we parked our car and almost everyone else parked their car which meant the boys could only debate the fuel source of the shuttle buses and tour buses (hybrid or biodiesel?)
We have also played countless games of Pooh-Sticks, which has nothing to do with any body function, but lots to do with Winnie the Pooh floating sticks down a stream and watching where they go. Good clean fun, and there must be some physics in there somewhere. We hiked and rode bikes and played on beaches and by waterfalls and streams.
It is all good, these experiences together that I believe we will always remember. I’ll remember everything I ate, because I always do; my memory is based more on taste and smell than vision. Don is often amazed that I can recall in detail a meal from 10 years ago, yet accidentally rent the same film three times. Hey, I can’t help it that I can’t taste Appollo 13.
Mostly I hope I will also always remember how my boys viewed the world at this age. How we all can look at the same view and see something completely different, and how their view is no less right than mine. Just different. Just boy.
jane, candid 