Category Archives: cancer, weirder than I thought

2016: Standing at the corner, pondering the detour ahead

03 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by in cancer, weirder than I thought

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And here I am, standing at the corner, wondering which way I will go. This time, I choose living.

I had chemo #3 on Monday, June 27. The actual treatment again went well. As with #2, we found that it is several days later that the effects get more interesting. Still, not nearly as bad as I expected. As is my m.o., I prepared for what I thought was the worst so that I could have the luxury of feeling pleasantly surprised and appropriately grateful that I remain very lucky in my experience. Frankly, not much surprises me anymore as far as side effects. Not sure it could get more weird. Condition du jour: my scalp as a chia pet. Don’t ask.

The fourth round of the dose intensive “AC” chemo drugs will be Monday, July 11, followed again by the two-week recovery period. The last week of July, I will start the weekly infusions of the “T” portion of the chemo schedule, the “AC-T” standard procedure for my cultivar of cancer, called a “triple negative” breast tumor due to its lack of hormone receptivity. I think they could come up with a better name, something a little more peppy and optimistic perhaps, but maybe that’s just me. I will receive 12 weekly “T” treatments, which puts us into October. Don remains a rock through the whole thing.

I will say that I am not able to think straight, not my strong suit anyway. This has been getting progressively more frustrating over the last five weeks. I wish I had written more posts weeks ago when many people gently reminded me that it would be a good idea. Maybe someday I can circle back.

In the meantime, I will try to convey this thought: the daunting shock and awe I initially felt when facing this little detour has evolved into a grateful, overwhelming awe at the continual flow of care, generosity, patience and unconditional love that has poured in from all directions. When I think about all that people have given me, I become a puddle. Not a bad reason to sniffle, in the scope of things. I am very lucky.

And with that, I’ll share one more absurdity of life: as I shed a few grateful tears writing this, I felt sand coming out of my eyes and realized that, for the first time, the skin on half of my face just started rubbing off. I had to say that nothing surprises me anymore…? No worries — kind souls saw my future and have already gifted plenty of lotion.

Love to all.

 

Don’t drink the Kool-Aid

06 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in cancer, weirder than I thought, something important, I'm sure

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A quick update: so far, the first round of treatment has gone much better than we expected! I went in for the first chemo infusion on Friday, May 29 with Don at my side, feeding me crackers and cracking jokes and fighting his compulsion to test all the buttons and levers on the cool laz-ee-boy recliner/wheelchair where I was parked. (He only released the brake once.) Even with the recliner brakes secure, the whole experience was a TRIP let me tell you, but not painful at all. Just trippy. We remained calm and frankly quite curious when the nurse donned a full body disposable haz-mat suit to administer one of the meds into the IV, especially since Don was sitting right there and Don did not don a suit and had to sit there unprotected while she slowly injected into the IV what looked like a very thick syrup of possibly Red Dye #40, which we all know from the FDA warnings is quite lethal and therefore you should not drink too much red Kool-Aid because you might get cancer.

That kind of trippy.

Anyway, the post-trip med protocol did a fine job of minimizing most of the anticipated side effects, other than my mouth tasting like a coin purse full of dirty nickels. Small price to pay, really. Every day has ups and downs but mostly ups. We are just riding the coaster and figuring out day by day what help we might need. My three men have been taking great care of me.

Thank you everyone for your support. I am buoyed and blessed each day with the positive thoughts and prayers from those close to me and those I’ve never even met.

Fate, not fatal

06 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by in cancer, weirder than I thought, Motherhood

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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.              Lemony Snicket

Hi, I’m back. Whatcha been doing the last five years? Well, this and that, where do I start? I’ll just say life is good.

Hey, funny thing, I’d been noodling how fun it would be to have something interesting to write about and fate plopped my breast cancer diagnosis into my lap on May 6. Luckily I caught it early (stage II) and the prognosis is excellent. There were many, many tests in the following weeks and I am happy to report that I have been scanned every which way and upside down and there is NO sign of cancer other than the one pesky tumor.

I feel very good and confident in my medical oncology team and am ready to get going. Initially we were told that chemo might start as early as May 13, but some tardy test results (and the insurance company) made sure that the process would progress more slowly. Treatment began on Friday, May 27. So, I was thankful to be able to enjoy the end-of-school activities, volleyball playoff games and graduation before we got started. (By the way, graduation was May 25 but the grad announcements are somehow still on our dining room table… let’s all pretend that if life was normal around here, the envelopes would have been sent on time…)

The fine print: Treatment can include but is not limited to chemo two weeks apart for four cycles, followed by a different chemo drug once a week for 12 weeks. This should cause shrinkage (the good kind) and potentially make the surgery easier. Expecting surgery in early November; Santa will bring me some radiation for Christmas, and we will round the corner into the new year in good health! That is the plan.

I’ll admit, I have felt overwhelmed by the shock and awe of this unexpected detour but also with the outpouring of love from so many directions. Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and prayers. I feel very lucky