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Category Archives: Motherhood

bookish

16 Monday Mar 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in good reads, Motherhood, seasons

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Tags

bookmobile, books, Caldecott Medal, Newbery Medal, reading

My fascination with books started early; in the summers of the 70’s, I would look forward to the bi-weekly visits of the Bookmobile to my tiny Wisconsin town.  I guess it was literary outreach for the distant corners of the county with no library branches.  (Do bookmobiles even still exist?)

This beloved bookmobile would park in the bank parking lot a short walk from my house.  I can picture the inside of that Rolling Bus of Books as clearly as any other memory of my childhood.  In retrospect, it is amazing how many pounds of books a 57 lb. girl could carry home by herself.  The titles themselves aren’t as clear in my memory;  I read so many books, back to back, that they eventually became onelongsummerstory.

It is possible that I should have spent more time playing outside with real people.

Fast forward to another century, and my fascination for children’s books has not faded.  Before my kids were born, I was collecting books for read-alouds and looking-throughs.  Books that had received the Caldecott Medal for Illustration always seemed like a good place to start.  Then started the early readers and beginning chapter books.  Soon, I was collecting Newbery Medal winners and Newbery Honor Books.  Oh, the world of YA novels!  There is a great list of award winning titles here, including 1922-present.  Of course, sometimes I will pick out children’s books simply because the title, or the cover art, or the subject will jump to be chosen.  Many of our most-thumbed copies have no award other than “Our Favorites”.  There are so many organizations that recognize talented children’s book authors and illustrators;  peruse this list to see many more.  Buy books for kids!

My kid book library is now quite extensive.  I am so lucky and proud to have voracious readers of my own.  As they grow older, it is still a joy to share books with them, albeit in a new way (they read the book first, then recommend it to me).  Someday we will have to decide which books they want to keep for their own libraries, and which ones we will donate.  Or, maybe, I could be the little old lady driving my own bookmobile…?

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better door than a window

11 Wednesday Mar 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood

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concert

In the mailbox today was a big, plump, promising looking envelope.  It was addressed to E, and contained the (very well padded) CD from his very first choral concert. *Sigh*.  No book.

The concert was very interesting.  Unfortunately, I could not see my kid during the grand finale.  A fine child, who I came to think of as Big Head Todd, completely obstructed my view.  I’m sure he is a very nice young man, but I wished he would move a itsy bit to the left or the right.  Luckily, during the enthusiastic, parent-filled standing O, he bent over in a “YES, we nailed it!” kind of fist pump, and I was finally able to see my star of the show.

yes, he moved

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cuckoo, cuckoo

09 Monday Mar 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood, Writing

≈ 1 Comment

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cuckoo clock, pendulum

clock worksMy cuckoo clock went bananas.  Every day, I am supposed to reset the winding mechanism by pulling the chains to the top, where they slowly wind down and through some miracle of clock-making, make it run all day (even if it does not keep proper time).

Turns out if the long chains with pinecone-shaped weights become obstructed by a LaGrE pile of tOyS, it will stop running.  The Professor noticed its silence, even though I had been sitting next to it for hours.  When I pulled the chain to restart it, all the cuckoos it missed came rapid-fire jumbling out like some possessed … 100 year old bird.  It had so many accumulated proclamations, I thought it was going to sprain itself.

The clock reminds me of my writing.  When I finally started to write in earnest, the words came tumbling out so fast I thought I was going to pop a brain goiter.  If my energy gets stuck on a large pile of momhood’s clutter, I’m stuck there until I can pull my own chain and get going again.  The kids know when something is off.  And some days, arguably, much of what comes out when I’m working could be cuckoo.  I’ll stop the analogy there.

Tick, tock… keep that pendulum swinging…

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twilight tween?

02 Monday Mar 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood

≈ 1 Comment

tween

The Tween Years.  When the sweet child suddenly becomes nearly unrecognizable.

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Share a Story – Shape a Future

02 Monday Mar 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in good reads, Motherhood, Writing

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

blogs, literacy

If you find yourself wandering around the blogosphere next week, check out this fun, worthwhile event (click here):

Created by a group of blogging librarians, teachers, parents, illustrators, authors and people passionate about literacy,  Share-A-Story — Shape-A-Future is a venue to share ideas and celebrate everything reading has to offer our kids.

Their goal:  building a community of readers, one person at a time.  Sounds good to me!  There are weblinks for each day, March 9-13.

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blur days

27 Friday Feb 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood, Writing

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growing up, snapshots, Writing

life is a blur
Do you ever feel that your kids are growing up so fast, you have to stop and try to focus amid the blur?

My wonderful sister-in-law once gave me this wise advice:  “The days may go by so slowly, but the years fly by too quickly.”

I did not believe her when my babies were small.  Those days, and weeks, and months were L-O-N-G.  I did not recognize what doing that job 24/7 would do to an introvert like me.  I was never alone long enough to fully recharge.  I stumbled through life, day after long day, wondering what was wrong with me.  To have uninterrupted time in those days, I had to resort to tricks, such a 2 lb. bag of m&ms doled out one at a time to a toddler.  In retrospect, that was a really bad idea.  Unfortunately, sometimes desperation is the mother of invention.

Now, when I write, it recharges me.  It helps me look at single snapshots of my life with my kids, and reflect on the Now of it.  The years have started flying by, indeed.  I better write fast to keep up.

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wake me when it’s over

26 Thursday Feb 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood, seasons

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

camping, hiking, staycation, vacation

dozing

Camping is that special kind of vacation where later sleeping with your head on a loaf of bread and a box of baggies feels GREAT.

Camping takes me out of my comfort zone.  I’ll agree to it several months in advance, when it sounds so outdoorsy and romantically rustic; then hate myself when packing for it; then doubt my sanity when in the middle of it.  Then when it’s all over, I can look back and say “WOW, that was amazing and I never would have seen 97% of the coolest stuff had we not been camping!!”

I have my brother to thank for the adventures.  The main reason(s) I have actually enjoyed my last two camping trips have been my brother and sister-in-law, who have been our ‘urban outfitters’/hiking guides for several Utah trips.  When it comes to camping, I won’t leave home without them.  Pancakes and cowboy coffee, and a loaf of bread to lay my weary head after a nine-mile-death-hike-with-mike.  Good times.  Really.  And no one was more surprised that I loved it than me.

We are not doing a camping trip this spring, and I will miss it.  We all will.  The motto of 2009 spring break is staycation, kids.  But, you wait, happy campers, we’ll be back another year, to doze on baked goods while dreaming of all those amazing sights.

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CSI: MCS

25 Wednesday Feb 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

big screen, Gilligan's Island, man cave, TV

No investigation needed to uncover a serious case of MCS at my house:

Man Cave Syndrome.

Big D built it; the clones have followed him down into the basement.  The screen is eight feet wide.  The sound system can, literally, blow their socks off, and sometimes it makes their hair blow back just slightly like that off-camera fan that the models use.  The sectional couch is its own small planet with some type of gravitational pull that affects the male bits in a way I can’t detect.

Three years into the man cave era, I can finally turn on the TV in the basement and make a screen light up, sound come on and run a dvd all at once.  Sometimes.  For years the kids would groan if Dad had to leave the house on a weekend evening; that meant they would have to watch me try to make the electronics work, instead of actually watching something on the electronics. For them, the only interesting part of those evenings was the new swear words they might hear me mutter under my breath, or after 15 minutes of pushing every button on every remote maniacally, the juicy words I might say quite loudly.

The cave is just not my scene.

I have no one to blame if I am upstairs with no one to talk to but myself (and no TV I can watch either).  I was the one to voluntarily remove TVs from all the main floor rooms of the house to make us a TV-free family.  It would be great!  We would all gather around after dinner and talk to each other in meaningful conversations!  We would play board games!  No one could beg to watch commercial-laden, mind-numbing television programming if there was no TV to watch, right?  (See previous posts ranting about the effect of TV on children’s little brains and suspend judgement on my sanity now, please).

Of course, the effect was like withholding Captain Crunch from a kid in the ’70’s — now he will buy them each time he goes to the grocery store.  The kids became more and more fascinated with the Mystical TV That Contained Ingredients That Were Not Good For Them.  They started to spend their precious visits to Grandma and Grandpa’s house staring at their TV, even if it wasn’t turned on.

What is my problem?  I had completely unfettered access to the TV as I grew up, and look how well I turned out (right? huh? huh??).  I learned a lot of classical music from Bugs Bunny, and Shakespeare + opera from Gilligan’s Island (“It is to be, or not to be, that is the question that I ask of thee…”).  I became a very knowledgeable shopper from watching The Price Is Right, especially when I am shopping for… a brand new car!!

I know moderation, in all things, is the key.  Faced with the prospect of conversation (and board games) upstairs, it was inevitable that the menfolk in my house would forge their own new frontier in the basement.  Maybe one little TV in the living room, just for me, wouldn’t be so bad…

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soft shoulder(s) ahead

20 Friday Feb 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood

≈ 2 Comments

Quote of the Day:  “Mom, stop being Mrs. Slumpy Shoulders.  That is not you.” I had never heard that phrase before, but apparently I embodied it.

I had been shuffling around upstairs around bedtime, putting away laundry, mumbling under my breath, with my body all scowly;  “… people keep wearing the clothes and getting them dirty again.  I wash the clothes and fold them and put them away and then people make them dirty again.  And I wash the dishes and people take them out and put food on them and then they are dirty again…”

Such is the challenge of full-time parenthood — knowing in your heart that it is a privilege to do what you do, but feeling the monotony of mundane chores that are quickly undone.  If you are not careful, it can give you a big-time case of Slumpy Shoulders.  This was the hardest thing for me to accept when I gave up a career outside the home, for one inside its walls.  Re-doing stuff I just did.  Often I was re-doing things I had not even finished doing the first time.  In 2001, there was no space in the Franklin Planner for that.  It drove me bonkers for years.

I now strive for a state of zen-like calmness through just doing each task and being present in the moment.  Each task is a gift, to myself or to others I love.  Some gifts I would like to give back, but no matter.  As you can see, I’m doing much better through the miracle of modern chemistry.

One concept that I keep in mind is that of C.H.A.O.S. — as in, Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome.  I stumbled upon this idea one day during the Toddler Years, when surfing the net to try to find my sanity.  Mostly I found a great deal of retail therapy, but there was also FlyLady.  While much of the FlyLady website is a little too homespun for me (not that there’s anything wrong with that), the concept of living in chaos where nothing was ever done — that struck a chord.  There are some true nuggets of wisdom there, about creating peaceful surroundings, getting rid of the clutter and simplifying life, that apply whether I live in a mansion or a van down by the river, or a pretty nice middle America suburb.

Now, if I can just maintain enough order in our little castle that I am not mortified when our neighbor stops by (her house is SPOTLESS, which isn’t an acronym, there simply is no dirt there), I’m happy.  It may just mean I promote a state of P.A.T.H.O.S. (Pathetic Attempt To Hide Oafishness Syndrome).  But that is not a good attitude for a Friday, now is it?

I’ll square up my shoulders and call it Can Have Everyone, Everyday, Regardless! Syndrome.  Cheers!

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coach? anyone? anyone? Bueller?

17 Tuesday Feb 2009

Posted by Jane Bretl in Motherhood

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

lego robotics, teamwork, Writing

geekbotThe state tournament for the FIRST Lego League Robotics program was this past weekend in Dayton, Ohio.  I coached an elementary school team this past fall (rookie coach + first time team = probably not the ideal choice).  I did not plan to be a Lego Robotics coach;  I did not attend the back-to-school “information meeting”, which was probably my first mistake.  I did not know it was the Coach Nomination Meeting.  Had I been there, I could have provided an animated and persuasive argument for why I was NOT the person to take on a team, no matter how badly the school needed just one more parent volunteer coach.  After all, I made it through a decade of legos strewn around the carpet of my home without ever developing the tiniest inkling to actually build something out of them myself.  As it was, I sent my engineery husband instead.  I promise you, this was the logical choice, given the two people involved:  hmmm, let’s see… science, technology, math, engineering, team emphasis, coaching experience — he was perfect!

He decided I was just the person for the job.  Traitor.

I put myself through a needlessly gut-wrenching process of self-denial, self-deprecation and self-induced drama before I got my act together and just worked with the kids.  (Gosh, it sounds a lot like writing — is there a pattern here?)  The nine kids were a joy to work with, and they hardly seemed to notice that I did not know what I was doing.  The FIRST Lego League Robotics program has a wonderful website with tons of tools, advice and support.  I stopped crying by October and was able to bumble along for the whole season.  Because I had three wonderful fellow parents who stepped up and coached with me, I never actually had to touch a lego (although I now know, I can do it!)  Plus, one of the experienced area teams mentored the kids, and those experienced coaches took me under their wing, and everybody helped everybody, and it all turned out great.  It was, despite my lousy starting attitude, a fantastic experience for me personally.  I hope the kids have no emotional scars — they looked like they had fun and learned something and gained confidence in themselves too.  I honestly loved working with them, and it was worth all the hours of volunteered time and work.  (I could have skipped all the hours of worry – lesson learned.)

regional tourneyBecause when it all came down to it, here’s the deal: the organization has an impressive mission, and one that I want to celebrate.  The FIRST Lego League Robotics Program provides kids an alternative avenue to hear the cheers of a crowd.  Of course, youth athletics are an outstanding, well-recognized way to learn teamwork, dedication and the payoff of hard work;  but there are other alternatives for kids to learn equally valuable life skills, and this program is one of them.  The vision expressed on the FIRST Lego League website from founder Dean Kamen — “To transform our culture by creating a world where science and technology are celebrated and where young people dream of becoming science and technology heroes”   — says a lot in a world where sports heroes are repeatedly shown to be great athletes, but not necessarily great role models for kids.  Any chance we have as parents to develop and challenge the whole child, whether through athletic or academic programs, is worth celebrating.  Having experienced a gymnasium packed full of fans cheering loudly — about teamwork-based science! — it is an exciting scene to witness.

http://www.usfirst.org/

team geekI’m proud to have been a part of the whole thing.  My team, Team G.E.E.K., did not qualify for the recent state tournament, but we sure had fun.  (Not that that means that I am already volunteering for next year, because I am not ready to commit…)  By the way, our G.E.E.K stood for Global Energy Engineering Krew.  At first, the kids were not sure about being known as “geeks”, but they soon embraced the slogan that “geek is the new cool”.  It’s OK to be smart and other kids can and will respect you for it.

BTW, author Marybeth Hicks’ book and website are so worth checking out — she promotes GEEKS as Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids — so cool!

http://www.marybethhicks.com/author/BringingupGeeks.aspx

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jane, candid

In 2009, I started this blog to share my sometimes thoughtful, sometimes funny, occasionally irreverent thoughts on motherhood, writing for publication and myriad creatures that got along as cats and dogs.

One day, I felt like stepping away from living out loud for awhile. Eh, life happens.

Fast forward five years -- I'll gloss over the details for now -- save to say that lucky for me an unexpected detour has provided some new material.

So here I am, standing at the corner. I've been here before, wondering which way to go. This time I choose living.

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