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a picture is worth a thousand words?

November 5, 2009 by Jane Bretl

NaNoWriMo Day 5, and I am at 5881 words.  Behind schedule, but better than I expected.  And I am enjoying the process more than I can say.

All participants can opt to receive email pep talks from the MotherShip;  here is a passage, from NaNoWriMo guru Chris Baty, that sums up part of the appeal of the whole exercise:

We get so focused on doing the things that pay the bills that we sometimes neglect to do the things that make us feel truly alive. You have a world of people depending on you—family, friends, co-workers, bosses, teachers. Taking care of everyone’s needs while still finding time to buy groceries and bathe every couple days can be a feat. Unfortunately, this means that activities like writing and art and music tend to disappear into the margins of our lives.

… For one month, you get to orient your life around your creative spark, rather than vice versa.

So, here I am with my spark, which is at this moment staring blankly back at me, but I know we’ll figure out something more to type.  In the meantime… if a picture is worth a thousand words, then I’ll be posting a few here for your enjoyment (because words written here are not words written there…)

nosey

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , | 5 Comments »

And… we’re off! I mean on! I’m NaNoWriMo-ing!

November 2, 2009 by Jane Bretl

Let me apologize right off the bat for the uncontrolled use of exclamation points in that title.

Day One of the Great Writing Adventure got off to a rocky start yesterday, but finished strong and I drifted off to dreamland last night with a sense of accomplishment.  Day One final wordcount:  1799.

So far, I am loving the writing program Scrivener (note:  this is not a paid endorsement.  There is an unfortunate lack of pay for anything at the moment.  My rave reviews are merely the excitement of a software newbie who is amazed by the features of anything beyond Word.)  The program saves my work every two seconds, so there is little worry that any of the gobbledeegook of output will be lost to the ages.  And I do mean gobbledeegook — when the kitten walks across my keyboard, as she is compelled to do often because she wants to commandeer my hands, random words such as

777777urrrrrrrrhtmn,,lp

count as actual words in the daily tally.  Sweet!  And I doubted my ability to hit 50,000.  Luckily most of the words I type on purpose seem to make sense.

Scrivener also saves everything that I delete, which offers peace of mind since I worry that my fingers will accidently spaz out and inadvertently hit the delete button.  This could also come under the heading of Freudian slip, depending on how things are going at the keyboard.  Either way, I can go back and retrieve off the cutting room floor if need be.

My next step is to stop checking my wordcount every five minutes, which is, of course, detrimental to the wordcount itself.  The irony is not lost on me but I am powerless to resist.

And what am I writing about, you ask?  I am no longer telling anyone about my final choice of storyline, as the several attempts to share subject possibilities with family members ended in disasters of confidence.  For now, I’ll just plink along privately.  Other than offering suggestions of better alternative storylines than my initial concepts, everyone here on the homefront has been supportive of my adventure, and I appreciate that.

Day Two wordcount as of now:  2967.  Just a bit behind schedule, but exceeding my expectations.  Onward we go!

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments »

let’s put the fun back in dysfunctional!

October 30, 2009 by Jane Bretl

It’s Friday, and time to have a little fun.  I found this video on the website karmatube.org.  It demonstrates a nifty concept from TheFunTheory.com, where they experiment to see if adding fun to mundane tasks can change people’s behavior for the better.  Have a look:

That made me smile, because it worked.

I tested a version of this “fun theory” years ago, after reading one of those helpful articles about How To Have A Happy Household.  In this case, the suggestion was to make chores *fun* so the kids would be, if not begging to do the chores, at least not complaining about the tasks.

I was dubious, but gave it an enthusiastic try.

“Hey kids, let’s play Laundry Fold-A-Thon!  It will be fun!”

{… insert sound of crickets here …}

I read this helpful hint in a parenting magazine, back when I used to subscribe to them.  I am pretty sure this particular article was written by someone who did not have any Actual Children.

Now, this new Fun Theory?  This one has potential.  It’s not just the technology, although boy does that help.  It is the cleverness, the innate sense of exploration and wonder that my Chore Cheerleading act did not provide.  In retrospect, I now know that if I had simply constructed a Rube Goldberg-type machine to hand each boy a piece of laundry?  We could have finished our fold-a-thon in record time*

(*NOTE:  chore completion time does not include 187 hour construction time of said machine)

Posted in Motherhood, something important, I'm sure | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments »

get ready, get set…

October 27, 2009 by Jane Bretl

In preparation for NaNoWriMo, I’ve downloaded some new writing software.  I find it is always a good idea to try something new right when the results matter — the attempt at a new recipe for a houseful at Thanksgiving, or test driving the new bifocals at night — that type of thing.  It adds a little zip to my day when catastrophe shifts from unlikely toward possible.

I’m going to try Scrivener, and I’m sure it will be nifty.  I’ll complete the tutorial, and organize a few notes, maybe take it for a spin, so I’ll be ready to roll.  (Any chance Scrivener comes preloaded with extra words??)  The best part?  They offer a special NaNoWriMo trial period, then a 50% discount on the software  if when you reach your 50,000 word goal.  I am looking forward to giving it a 50K ride.

I lurk on an on-line writing group for humor writers, and one of the members posted some great links for Scrivener and the NaNo.  Author Linda Fulkerson, a self-proclaimed blog-aholic who writes the wonderful  On Blogging Well, shared tips from David Hewson on Scrivener tips and Scrivener and the Mosaic of Writing.  All good stuff.

And yes, once again, I am doing a bang-up job at researching the writing process.  Good thing I have a deadline this time…

Posted in Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

solving a happy problem

October 26, 2009 by Jane Bretl

I have what I might consider the happiest problem I could dream up.  One of the new kittens, Mia, is very supportive of my writing.  In fact, nearly every time I sit down at the keyboard to write, she jumps up to my lap and tries to reward my writing efforts by purring hysterically from a spot on my chest.  If she is all the way down on my lap, she makes a little meepy squeak and reaches her paw up toward my cheek, brushing it with her velvet paw until I hold her up higher again.  (I know that borders on kitten-porn but I need you to understand the urgency of the situation…)

She just likes to be tucked close under my chin.  Admittedly, I have a shelf-of-sorts, although it slopes gently southeast more with each passing year, so for now I try to hold her with my left hand and type with my right.  This is my dream problem, but it is a problem, as shown here in exhibit A:

i am nowtyping this witgh one hand whcih reaaly slashes the wordcount  productviity rate.  would be a goood idea to sollve this before say novmeber 1???

OK, back to two hands for a minute.  Maybe I should follow my own advice to my kids — think about the real problem and find solutions?  (They are sooooo tired of the word “solutions”…)

  1. Kitten purring enhances productivity if/when I have use of approximately ten fingers.
  2. Lap is not close enough to chin; although chin(s) keep migrating south also, there is thankfully still a large gap.
  3. Moving shelf back to the north and increasing its level weight-bearing strength/buoyancy/perkiness would require costly surgery.

Here’s one thought:  the BabyBjorn was popular when my kids were babies, but I gave mine away years ago.  Even though the kittens are tripling in size every 48 hours, I still think Mia would be lost in a baby carrier.  Besides, she needs more of an under-chin sling, something shaped like a feedbag-of-sorts that can rest on the shelf-of-sorts, and keep her purring away in her ideal spot, hands-free .  The purring is as mesmerizing a writing aid as the cuckoo clock has always been;  I can just keep typing to the methodical beat of the clock and the kitten.

And perhaps the most poignant aspect of this situation?  Like The Ode To Joy, one never knows when the wonderful problem will stop as suddenly as it appeared, so one must enjoy the problem while it lasts.  The Ode ended as it inevitably had to do, and the Purring could easily find a more comfortable spot, leaving me in the silence I always wished for when the kids were small, and now dread.

So. There is how the idea for the new invention, The KittenKjorn, is born.

Admittedly, there is too small a target market (1? 2?) for this to be a viable business venture.  Plus the useful life of the product is short, unless you happen to also own a guinea pig or other furry mammal who also longs to snuggle under your chin (umm, yuck).  Here’s what makes the idea a winner for me though — when the kitten grows too large, which should be shortly after NaNoWriMo at the current feline growth rate, the KittenKjorn could be repurposed, maybe with snacks?  Say, Chex Party Mix?  Or cookies?  There will be a lot of editing starting December 1, and I do need to keep that productivity up…

Posted in Motherhood, Writing, get along like cats and dogs | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments »

Oct. 23rd? Now that’s scary

October 23, 2009 by Jane Bretl

Frequent readers (hi Dad) may recall that December 23rd is a bit of an issue for me.  It is usually the breaking point of the self-induced holiday hoopla, and consequently the single most likely day of the year for my head to fall off.  This year, I have a personal campaign of positive thoughts to make December 23rd a good day, at least a normal day, at best a calm, peaceful, centered day.

Only two months to go.  I have a team of doctors working ’round the clock on this effort, and have enlisted the help of my dog, who is also a helpful sort of gal.

First of all, she has been working on exorcising my inner grinch, which is symbolized by this stuffed grinchy toy.  In his June photo, he still had a mischievous look on his face:

devilish grinch

Kenzie has been working him over, and showing him who is boss.  This must be helpful to me in some subconscious way.  I like how he appears to be waving his little grinchy hand to say “uncle, already!”:

I'm helping!

After many months, he lost his santa hat (but, sure, not his head), and has sustained a small rip in his leg, which he claims is just a flesh wound…

I think he is a goner, and I am going to be just fine.

ouch

Posted in seasons, something important, I'm sure | Tagged , , | 2 Comments »

I’m going NaNoWriMo

October 22, 2009 by Jane Bretl

I will embark on a writing escapade in November — the NaNoWriMo, an annual writing project that brings together amateur and professional writers from around the world, in an admittedly quasi-sane attempt to write 50,000 words in 30 days.  Here is the explanation from the website:

“National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that’s a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and—when the thing is done—the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children.

In 2007, we had over 100,000 participants. More than 15,000 of them crossed the 50k finish line by the midnight deadline, entering into the annals of NaNoWriMo superstardom forever. They started the month as auto mechanics, out-of-work actors, and middle school English teachers. They walked away novelists.

So, to recap:

What: Writing one 50,000-word novel from scratch in a month’s time.

Who: You! We can’t do this unless we have some other people trying it as well. Let’s write laughably awful yet lengthy prose together.

Why: The reasons are endless! To actively participate in one of our era’s most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

When: You can sign up anytime to add your name to the roster and browse the forums. Writing begins November 1. To be added to the official list of winners, you must reach the 50,000-word mark by November 30 at midnight. Once your novel has been verified by our web-based team of robotic word counters, the partying begins.”

So, there you have it, I am promised partying and general revelry by the end of the month.  They don’t mention tears or hair-ripping, just a vague reference to “commiseration”.  I am filled with questions and yes, doubts and fears, but am willing to give it my best shot.

Anyone care to join me?

Posted in Writing | Tagged , | 15 Comments »

So sweet, it’s (almost) spooky

October 21, 2009 by Jane Bretl

I’m not a huge Halloween fan.  Lots of people around here decOraTe for Halloween, indoors and out, with extravagance beyond what I do for Christmas.  I just can’t want to do that.  I also don’t like spooky stuff, which puts a damper on the pranks, which I don’t like either. And, I don’t like scary movies, and I don’t read scary books, even if someone calls me a scaredy-pants.  So, Halloween? Just a day about candy for me.  Not that I eat my kids’ candy the first week of November while they are in school.  I resemble resent that implication, no matter how true.

If I am forced to go to a Halloween haunted house, I’ll pick this one (or I’ll stay home).

spookily delicious

Posted in Foodies, Motherhood | Tagged , | 4 Comments »

squids and kids and life’s small miracles

October 20, 2009 by Jane Bretl

My kid ate squid.

While on vacation, we broke the long-standing, elusive Picky Eater Taste Barrier and the list of new-things-tried grew by the day.  I cannot tell you how happy this made me, the Frustrated Foodie who for many years could not cook interesting dishes or dine out at adventurous restaurants with her whole family.  It felt like nothing short of a small miracle that those kids flew right by “no ingredients touching” to frutti del mar and cioppino.

Hallelujah.

We arrived back home, and inevitably the children found the old food routines easier to stomach.  I was disappointed but started to cook more interesting dishes anyway.  Slowly, both of them have shown more and more willingness to at least try new things.  “Hey, that actually smells good”, they would announce with equal parts surprise and confusion.  Indeed, my jaw dropped this week when The Professor ate jambalaya with shrimp and spicy sausage.  Two helpings.  Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know people talk about jaw dropping — it is a familiar idiom — but I actually felt the drop of my jawbone and it’s companion reaction, mouth hanging agape.  “I almost fell out of my chair” and “knock me over with a feather” also  felt like actual possibilities.  He just looked at me with a tween eyebrow lift and said “What’s the big deal, Mom?”,  shoveling in this (admittedly delicious) concoction of innumerable ingredients as if he had been trying new foods I made, and finding them incredibly delicious, for all of his days.

I am happy to pretend along with him, and his brother, that they were not picky for the last decade.

Another case in point:  until recently, I quite possibly had the only two children on the planet who did not like sandwiches.  How can someone not like sandwiches?  It’s bread, meat and maybe cheese.  Jeez.  But while on a weekend trip, my cousin made sandwiches for a picnic lunch, and low and behold The Little One shoveled them in.  When we returned home, he asked if I could possibly make delicious sandwiches like that here at our home.  Hhmmm, I think I can duplicate the recipe:  let’s see, one slice of whole wheat bread, one slice of turkey, one slice of cheddar, another slice of bread.  Press down and wrap in make-shift materials because the rental house does not have any kitchen supplies.  My son was amazed.  “Wow, I didn’t know you could make this!”  Suddenly I was a star, the purveyor of deliciousness heretofore never seen in this house.

I guess I’ll also pretend that I did not serve turkey sandwiches 187 times in the last ten years.

All in all, a small price to pay for my new stardom.  I’ll take small miracles wherever I can find them.

Posted in Foodies, Motherhood | 8 Comments »

what a nincompoop

October 19, 2009 by Jane Bretl

We are having a good time with our new kitten friends.  They bounce around the house like ping pong balls now that they are feeling better.  CowboyKitty has proven to have many virtuous qualities, pingponginess for example, but cleanliness is not one of them; his fur has looked a bit disheveled since the day we brought him home.  White fur on cats should be white, right?  Not beige, or taupe, or ecru?  In his defense, he was sick(er than we thought possible), so we cut him some slack on the whole hygiene idea.  And therefore, I was so happy to see him actually grooming himself one day, I took a picture of it.

I snapped this photo right before he ripped open the delicate site of his kitty vasectomy.

whoa up on the stiches, big fella

Hey!  I have a great idea!  Let’s go back to the vet!

Luckily(?), I already had a vet appointment for MiaKitty that very day so he could just tag along.  Who knew that for him, cleanliness would be next to vet-liness?

This little guy makes us laugh everyday with his kittenish antics, but his litterbox habits are another “area for improvement”, at least according to Mia and the rest of the feline population.  Training a kitten is the polar opposite experience from potty training a puppy — really, it could not be easier.  They seem to come out of the chute knowing just what to do as long as a litterbox is handy.  He actually uses the litterpan flawlessly, but then he neglects to cover up his business.  I thought this was Rule #1 in the Kitty Handbook.  Mia just goes in after him, shoots him a dirty look, and proceeds to cover it up.  Can a girl kitten mutter under her breath?  If she could, she would.

From my view, it is the feline equivalent of the guy leaving the toilet seat up.

Now, this morning?  He had poo on his head.  How in the hell does a cat get poo on his head?  They are the cleanest animals on earth, I muttered under my breath.  He didn’t mind his sponge bath too much though. (But, really, what guy does?)

Posted in get along like cats and dogs | Tagged | 5 Comments »

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