Author Archives: Jane Bretl

Heaven on a Spork

30 Friday Jan 2009

Posted by in Foodies, Motherhood

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We have been watching  a lot of the Food Channel lately.  Football season is essentially over, and it provides a pleasant respite from the constant science/how-it’s-made/how-to-blow-it-up-in-super-slow-mo  programming at our house.  Plus, as a perk, there are no erectile dysfunction ads on the Food Channel.

One show, I can’t recall the exact name, something like “The Best Thing I Ever Ate”, was a particular favorite.  The family gathered around and watched intently as a group of foodies all recalled their singular most delicious dish ever.  Oxtail marrow spurred some spirited family discussion, as did the guinea hen cooked inside a pig bladder.  I’ll go on record and predict that the bladder-cooking method will be discussed around our dinner table for years.  It was bedtime; the boys begged to watch the end of the program, then went to bed presumably with visions of guinea hens dancing in their heads.

The next morning, since it was another snow day, The Professor and I lounged around in bed talking and thinking and talking.  He must have been thinking about pig bladders again, because he asked me what was the best food I had ever had.  After some reflection, I waxed poetic on lobster on the Maine shore, Tabla in NYC, and white clam pizza in San Fran.  I did not mention fried cheese curds in Wisconsin, although I do like those a lot.  Bottom line: I couldn’t choose a best best.  So, I asked him the same question.  What would he pick?  He thought for a long time, then stated “I hate to tell you this, Mom, but whatever was the best thing, I did not eat it in this house”.  The honesty of children is so refreshing, isn’t it?  I dropped the topic right there.

Later in our lazy day, he shared this random thought, which also takes the honor of Quote of the Day:

“School mashed potatoes and gravy are like heaven on a spork.”

So, I finally had my answer.  And my reminder to be careful what I ask for.

half and half

27 Tuesday Jan 2009

Posted by in Motherhood

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The Little One came bouncing into my bedroom today to wake me with this news flash:  “MOM, do you know what’s really weird?  I am like half you and half Dad!”

Breaking news, indeed!  I wonder how long he lounged in bed, thinking this through, which parts of him are like me and which like his father.  What prompted that thread of thought?  Why, today, did the lightbulb go on?

Of course, it’s not news to me since I have thought about it nearly every day since the day he was born.  Within hours of his arrival, it was clear that he was… him.  I can feel the day so clearly; Big D had gone back home to be with E and Grandma, so I was Alone with the Little One for the first time.  He had been sleeping in the little hospital bassinet thingy next to my bed, but I just had to hold him in my arms.  I gently picked him up, and cradled him, and kissed his sweet head.  It was so quiet and peaceful and I was in heaven.  Really, it was a moment where one could, just faintly, hear the angels singing.  He opened his eyes and looked at me (or in my general direction — I was wearing my rose colored glasses).  His face had barely started to scrunch into a look of vague annoyance, and 3.7 seconds later he was screaming “Feed me — NOW!”

And I knew right then.  The first one had been a sucker baby; the one who coos softly for five minutes to let us know that he might be feeling a tad peckish.  This one was a different half of me and of his dad.

On the bad days, I see the parts of my husband that make me nuts, reflected in his little face, his words, his actions.  On the really bad days, I see myself reflected in the mirror of his eyes.  Now, there are so, so, so many more good days than bad, and I love his enthusiasm, spark, humor, and drive, weaknesses and strengths.  He still expects so much, so fast — right now! — from the world, and from himself.  He makes me hear the angels sing every day, that Little One who will soon be as tall as me.

FB sophomore

24 Saturday Jan 2009

Posted by in Writing

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I now check facebook a lot.  After days spent obsessively snooping at what everyone else was doing, I felt some tentative confidence to make several brief posts.  My first post, to a long ago acquaintance, I hit the wrong button and it took me three days to figure out she never saw my carefully crafted reply on her wall.  OK, I now understand how to reply to someone writing on my wall.  I think.

I spent another week “trolling” for new friends, which I thought was such a clever play on words until my cousin used the exact same phrase. On a facebook post.  So much for my creative way with words.  Perhaps I was mining new veins for gold.  Never mind.

I still find FB nerve-wracking.  It seems unpredictable, what it discloses about people.  It announces status updates of questionable nature.  One friend suddenly came up as “no longer married” .  That freaked me out (did she just announce an impending divorce in such an impersonal and public way?)  Then, of course, I figured out that she is 40-something like me and she just hit the wrong button.  But that begs the question — how many wrong buttons have I already hit and inadvertently sent bizarre updates about myself?  Does it broadcast how often I have changed my profile picture because I thought it made me look old/fat/ridiculous?  Ridiculous as in ridicule-inducing-ousness?  Does the act of changing my profile picture umpteen times in itself broadcast something lacking in my character??

I lay awake at night thinking about these things.  But I have joined a FB writers’ group thing (thanks to Kent for the hook-up) and now check the discussion boards, and even posted something.  About blogging.  Nothing bad happened, that I know about. From that group, I am starting to see the light about how social networking can create and enhance a writer’s platform.  I have yet to join a local writers’ critique group, so social networking provides a viable online alternative for feedback.  Plus, peeking into the lives of all these writers, talking about their elevator pitches and revising chapter 25, helps inspire me to write more every day.

Progress.

acne bias

24 Saturday Jan 2009

Posted by in Motherhood

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Today’s Quote of the Day, from the Little One:

“What if, in this world, there was no racial discrimination, but just facial discrimination instead?”

OK, I don’t think that is any better, but it is something to think about.

Geek IS the new Cool!

21 Wednesday Jan 2009

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Kids are awfully jaded these days.  I sense this goes beyond the proverbial “kids these days” motto of each generation — to some new warp speed warping of their little minds.  Maybe jaded is not quite the right word — just worldly beyond their years?

Case in point:  although we strictly limited the amount of TV that our kids could watch when they were young,  the Little One still  grew up too fast.  At three, he announced that “Sesame Street was for babies”.   (????)  We had shielded him from lots of mainstream kids’ TV programming to avoid all the commercialism and the sugary-cereal-seduction and the shows with annoying character traits. (Caillou, for example, was just a whiner.)  We didn’t want him watching many commercials aimed at kids at all, so we mostly watched PBS.  Being a pre-DVR baby, it took more effort.

Of course, it happened anyway.

Looking back, I’m sure our family’s frequent marathons of watching professional sports had something to do with his speedy media maturation.  There’s nothing like a non-stop feed of erectile dysfunction commercials to broaden a kid’s horizon.  But as I think of all four of us snuggled together, cheering on the Packers, I’m not sure what I would have done differently.

Author Marybeth Hicks has a great book, “Bringing Up Geeks:  Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids”.  She talks about how the media is really the “other parent” in our kids’ lives, because it has so much influence on how they grow up.  Check out her website in the Links section.

G.E.E.K. is the new Cool — the concept strikes a cord with kids.  Our Lego Robotics team adopted the phrase as their team slogan!

Bumper cars

14 Wednesday Jan 2009

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I recently heard a comedian riff on bumper stickers as a handy shortcut to life — when he saw one, he automatically knew not to be friends with the driver.

My husband views my new-found bumper sticker interest as a phase, a possible symptom of mid-life crisis that will hopefully pass in less time than it takes to remove the adhesive already applied.

Me, I just looked at my tan minivan one day (Sandtone), youth football team stickers in the windows (not that there is anything wrong with that), bumper scraped from hasty parking jobs, and thought about what I drive as reflection of who I am.

Ouch.

I was also swept up in the fervor of the election and wanted to make a statement.  The minivan remains non-negotiable, no matter how much I want something little and zippy.  So forthwith the Obamamobile was born.

I have lots more bumper stickers to apply, when the time is right.  “Please Lord, let me be the person my dog thinks I am”.   “Coexist”.   “Alternative Energy is Homeland Security”.  “Geek Is The New Cool”.

Funny, my husband doesn’t drive the van much anymore.

FB Newbie

14 Wednesday Jan 2009

Posted by in Writing

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OK, so, not one to rush into the 21st century, I am finally poking around to see what Facebook is all about.  And, um, blogs.  I was inspired by the speakers at a recent Writer’s Digest conference in Cincinnati.  Jane Friedman (great speaker, by the way) stressed the importance of creating an online presence, a robust platform, a connection to an identifiable network;  creating waves!  gaining visibility!  being remarkable!

All this took me about a month to digest before I could face the keyboard.

So, Facebook is a first baby step to figure out “what the fuss”.  And, now, the start of a blog of sorts.

Facebook feels weird.  I am afraid to write on anyone’s wall (feels like graffiti) so I just skulk around, peeking at what other people write, looking at their pictures – like a peeping tom outside the windows of someone else’s neighborhood.   Turns out lots of people I know across the country  are on there, of course.  Which everyone else apparently already knew.  Having I been living in a cave?  (Or a suburb???)