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Is she smiling? Sometimes it is hard to tell. Could be maniacal plotting of the dog’s untimely demise.
is this a happy face?
01 Wednesday Apr 2009
Posted in get along like cats and dogs, Photography
Author Archives: Jane Bretl
put on a happy face
30 Monday Mar 2009
Posted in Motherhood, Writing
Happy Monday, folks! I’ve put away the crowbar for another week — there’s nothing like getting a couple growing boys out of bed on a Monday morning to give those biceps a good workout with garden tools.
No one was smiling this morning. Well, except me.
See, Monday morning now means a quiet house where I can just write. Writing gets me out of bed. Writing gives me energy. So does reading great writing.
And coffee! Coffee is really good too.
Finding happiness on a Monday, or any other day, is the basis for the wonderful blog The Happiness Project. (Yes, yet another great link found on Zebra Sounds!) On The Happiness Project, author Gretchen Rubin shares her “adventures and insights as I grapple with the challenge of being happier”. In one poignant post, she shares the paradoxes of happiness; just one thing learned during her year-long journey of test-driving every happiness theory she could find. Good reading!
To me, the true paradox of happiness is its unexpected painfulness. A broken heart hurts like hell, but happiness/beauty can also pierce the heart with its sweetness. When I look at my children, I feel so blessed and happy and lucky that it hurts. The heart aches when sad things happen, but it can also ache with joy.
An alternative is to go through life slightly oblivious to all the intense beauty around us, keeping busy and on task to keep the mind and the heart from feeling too much. A conscious or unconscious decision. Plenty of fun and happy and laughs and pleasantness, just not the joy so sharp, it cuts.
Happiness brings tears to my eyes nearly every day. Is it a fear that all that makes me happy in this place could be ephemeral? The knowledge that in this crazy world, anything can happen, any day? Maybe happiness and sadness are separated by a very thin line, and the heart feels them both as one. Either way, I cry at inopportune times, but that is me.
All I have to do is look at those sweet sons of ours in the morning, before they are awake, and breathe deeply in their sleepy necks to wake them up. It feels like as much happiness as I deserve all day.
Of course, the sleepyheads are so much cuter before they start moaning about the need to get up. The onset of puberty might also change my tune. We’ll see.
If all else fails to stir the happiness in my soul, there is always the option of putting on a happy face, even on the days when life’s blessings are less obvious. Gretchen says it is possible.
The Little One has discovered that a paper plate works in a pinch.
spring is all a-Twitter
27 Friday Mar 2009
My new friend Karen introduced me to a new word: * twitterpated *. We were discussing flutterbys vs. butterflies and somehow twitterpated was suddenly in context for the conversation. I don’t know how I went through four decades and never heard of this charming word. Urban Dictionary has 17 definitions for twitterpated; my favorite is “that happy, jumpy feeling you get that causes you to smile uncontrollably.”
Here’s a quote from Bambi, an early cinematic proponent of twitterpatedness:
Flower: [about two birds fluttering around] Well! What’s the matter with them?
Thumper: Why are they acting that way?
Friend Owl: Why, don’t you know? They’re twitterpated.
Flower, Bambi, Thumper: Twitterpated?
Friend Owl: Yes. Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime. For example: You’re walking along, minding your own business. You’re looking neither to the left, nor to the right, when all of a sudden you run smack into a pretty face. Woo-woo! You begin to get weak in the knees. Your head’s in a whirl. And then you feel light as a feather, and before you know it, you’re walking on air. And then you know what? You’re knocked for a loop, and you completely lose your head!
Thumper: Gosh, that’s awful.
Flower: Gee whiz.
Bambi: Terrible!
Friend Owl: And that ain’t all. It could happen to anyone, so you’d better be careful.
[points at Bambi]
Friend Owl: It could happen to you…
[points at Thumper]
Friend Owl: … or you, or even…
[Flower looks at Owl shyly]
Friend Owl: Yes, it could even happen to you!
Thumper: Well, it’s not gonna happen to me.
Bambi: Me neither.
Flower: Me neither.
Ahhh, spring in 1942.
Addictionary offers a different definition of twitterpated, and I am guessing that we are living the first spring where this definition is accurate:
*
twitterpated by Shelley Ryan at The Marketers Addictionary
adjective, So distracted by twitter you forgot what you were supposed to be working on.
*
Ahhh, spring 2009.
bubble boy
26 Thursday Mar 2009
Posted in something important, I'm sure
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I think he is clean now.
is wordling a word?
23 Monday Mar 2009
Posted in Writing
I like the wonderful blog Zebra Sounds where I always find fun, inspiring, and thought-provoking word bites. This author pulls together information from diverse sources and she weaves it in an entertaining and enlightening way.
I particularly enjoyed her post about Wordle and how it is being used to make a statement in politics, advertising and elsewhere. Here is the explanation of Wordle’s basics from the official website:
“Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends.”
Here is a Wordle of jane,candid:
Wordle can even be a handy gizmo for writers. Because the size of the word is correlated to the number of times that word appears in the text, I can see which words I use most often. For example, it is clear to me now that I just use the word “just” too often. I also must have been writing about the author J.A. Konrath quite a few times, because he and all his aliases, as well as his new book Afraid (to be released on March 31st), appear all over the place. Scary!
I like the back story of the inventor of Wordle, Jonathan Feinberg, and how shares his toys with the world. On his Wordle Blog, he tells how he made a Word Vader for his son. I make up little stories at bedtime about flying lawn care machinery — he creates mind-blowing visuals with some code he just had lying around. That’s a Cool Parent.
I normally do not like little gadgety internet things, but this one makes words into art, and those are both good things. Plus, if Zebra Sounds says it is interesting, I usually agree. I like wordling. Beware though, it is addictive. You can randomize your chosen word cloud an infinite number of times — and before you know it, time got wordled away…
I made a collage of Wordles for the Little One, filled with adjectives about him, his hobbies and interests and collections and words that make him smile. I framed them and hung them in his room. Free art that is personalized, and a person who shares his toys. What could be better?
migrations
21 Saturday Mar 2009
Posted in Photography, seasons
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For those of you in the United States and Canada, I found this site to track the hummingbird migration for 2009.
I do not have an official map from the AARP, but I think the retirees heading north from Florida should be following roughly the same migratory patterns. We have found that if you feed them, they will stay for approximately 48 hours; then they start checking the Weather Channel for good driving conditions.
The butterflies cannot be far behind. Happy Spring, everyone!
the pre-wash cycle
19 Thursday Mar 2009
Posted in get along like cats and dogs, Motherhood
Tags
There is an ongoing debate in my household about the “best” way to load the dishwasher. I just put the dishes in. Apparently that is not exactly right. Apparently it is very important to stack them using a very complex logarithm that maximizes the mean number of individual dishes that can be wedged into every nook and corner. It does not seem to matter much to this particular member of my household (who shall remain nameless) that the dishes do not get as clean when there are 537 of them in a single load. I end up putting them through the dishwasher again a second time when this unnamed person leaves the house.
I think the dishes come out bright spanky super-clean when I load the dishwasher the “not as right” way. Especially when I use the pre-wash cycle.
Before activating pre-wash, be sure to check the back of the dishwasher for something scary:
Activate pre-wash. (Note the cat looks disgusted about the whole spectacle.)
Handy tip: the pre-wash is also self-cleaning. (Even the top of the nose.)
Note To Self: set the real sanitize button after every pre-wash.
scaredy-pants
18 Wednesday Mar 2009
Posted in good reads, Writing
Tags
A Newbie's Guide to Publishing, Afraid, blog tour, J.A. Konrath, Jack Kilborn, Katherine Battersby, scaredy-pants, The Well Read Rabbit
How did I ever get mixed up with a guy like Jack Kilbourn? It started out innocently enough…
One of the very first comments I ever received on my blog was from a lovely children’s book illustrator and writer. Katherine Battersby had stumbled upon my blog in its first few weak-kneed days and was kind enough to leave a note of encouragement. Her blog, The Well Read Rabbit, became a favorite. I loved its gentle tone, captivating illustrations, and her inspiring words for writers. I check it every day because it makes me smile.
Perusing her calm oasis of a website one day, I read this post as my first introduction to J.A. Konrath’s blog, A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing. (Irony alert.) Katherine wisely urged her readers to read all the way to the end of Konrath’s “cheeky” comments, lest we miss his true intent of encouragement. I did read the whole thing, and was hooked — now Konrath’s Newbie blog was on my blogroll as well. I trolled through lots of his past blog posts and found a wealth of helpful information about getting started as a writer. He’s a successful novelist already, with the Lt. Jacqueline “Jack” Daniels suspense series and many other publishing credits. Plus, he was just scary funny (insert foreshadowing music here). He made me smile in a completely different way.
Then he turned a whole different cheek of cheeky. J.A. Konrath launched an ambitious blog book tour, creating lots of buzz for his new book Afraid along the way. This horror novel, set in small town Wisconsin, is to be released on March 31st. Every day in March, he has been on a break-neck-paced blog marathon that makes me wonder if he is going to make it to 3/31 in one piece. And, who is this Jack Kilbourn? Just his pseudonym for when he wants to write the hard-core horror. If you have not been following along, it is worth a look to watch J.A./Joe/Jack in action. As I have mentioned before, I see blog tours as a fun ride for us as readers to follow. I find so many interesting people…
But, how did I wind up in this story?
Afraid is billed as the scariest horror novel ever written. He invited anyone to read the book before it’s released (he’d send you a copy) and write a review. I have since read many reviews that sound convincing. “Carnival of carnage?” “An absolutely unrelentless nightmare??” I am convinced I would not sleep for weeks if I attempted to read this book. This is not my genre. I feel much more comfortable hanging out in the blogosphere with a well read rabbit. Preferably one that does not have blood dripping from its fangs cute little bunny teeth. I wrote Joe Konrath a note saying I was too big a scaredy-pants to read his novel but I wished him luck anyway.
And here is what he sent back to me: A Top Ten List to help readers like me who are horror challenged. Under his alter-ego pen name Jack Kilborn, he writes a sick, gory story — but I am starting to suspect that this J.A./Joe/Jack fellow is really just a nice fuzzy bunny inside.
I hope.
I’m leaving all the lights on while I keep hoping.
Top 10 Ways To Get Through Afraid by Jack Kilborn if You’re Just a Scaredy-Pants
by Jack Kilborn
10. Keep repeating “It’s only a book, it’s only a book.”
9. Read it in the daylight, surrounded by people you trust.
8. Get the audiobook version, and listen to it while driving or working out, so your attention is divided.
(Note to self: I don’t think I should be operating a motor vehicle while listening to something that might make me wet my pants in terror.)
7. Stop every five pages for cookies and milk. You can’t be frightened while eating cookies and milk.
(Finally, an appealing idea! Except what if I toss my cookies after reading about the woman’s toe being gnawed off?)
6. Give it to a brave friend, and have her cross out all the scary parts with a marker. (added benefit: you’ll be able to read the whole book in eight minutes.)
(Anyone? Anyone?)
5. Visit www.JackKilborn.com and play the Afraid game. You’ll realize the writer is a goofball, and not scary whatsoever.
4. Keep the phone nearby, with 9 and 1 already dialed.
3. Make sure the doors are locked, the lights are on, and your gun is loaded.
2. Read it drunk. Then you won’t remember the scary parts.
1. Don’t read it at all. But for heaven’s sake, buy a copy. The author wants to buy a Porsche.
So, there it is, compliments of the scary man himself. A big, happy, fuzzy bunny hug to Joe for including me on his blog tour. I am honored. I may not be brave enough to read Afraid, but I am now a loyal reader of his other work. AND, I’ll always remember that when one blog leads to another, there is no telling where I might end up.
Afraid comes out March 31. If you think you’re brave enough, give it a try…
an amazing day
18 Wednesday Mar 2009
Posted in Writing
In December, I attended a Writer’s Digest Editor’s Intensive event. I found it extremely helpful and informative. Jane Friedman, the Publisher and Editorial Director of Writer’s Digest, did an extraordinary thing for me today: she quoted a letter I wrote about that experience, and included a link to jane, candid in her blog There Are No Rules. I am so grateful for the kind comments, encouragement and exposure. Thank you, Jane!
the ultimate what?
17 Tuesday Mar 2009
Posted in Motherhood, Writing
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Later yesterday, when I was ready, I did the trip back out to the mailbox and retrieved the package. I carefully slit open the tape, peeled back the brown box, and there it was. The anthology The Ultimate Mom.
I went straight for the table of contents: whew, I spelled my name right on the submission form. Page 34. “The Impromptu Birthday” by Jane Koenen Bretl. It looks great! Nothing had been edited in the story, which was a relief since the contract stated that last minute edits may be necessary. In my mind, I thought that might be half of the tale when they came to their senses. They printed it pretty much word for word; just edited my punctuation since I am a bit ambitious: about colons; semicolons and — dashes. My 50 word bio in the back is the revised copy with my blog address. Whew again.
I felt happy. And relieved. And proud. And excited. And then I put the wet laundry in the dryer and realized that, once again, there is nothing prepared for dinner.
Let me be very clear here: I wrote one little story that is in an anthology with many other wonderful stories about the joys and challenges of motherhood. My story is about potty-training, and a lie that I told my kid. It is in the section “Merriment and Mishaps”. The reality does not escape me, this auspicious start, to have my first published clip be about poo. And me lying.
The Ultimate Mom. The title of the book is a lot to live up to. As the late afternoon sunshine slanted in through the front windows, I held the book and gave a cursory glance around me: an impressive 20 foot line-up of dirty laundry baskets still undone, the breakfast dishes inexplicably still on the counter, and no dinner in sight. In the big, big story of motherhood, I am just an imperfect contributor.
But I smiled, because I am a writer.
And I am thankful that the publisher did not conduct a home visit as a qualification.
jane, candid 