Author Archives: Jane Bretl

thanks a latte

03 Sunday May 2009

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Something occurred to me early this morning as I pulled the van back into the driveway, because by then I was capable of rational thought.

After a fitful night’s sleep, I inexplicably felt it was a better idea to groggily operate heavy automotive machinery than the coffee maker in my kitchen.  In my defense, I did have the dog as my co-pilot in case of emergency.

And that tall latte sure was yummy.

garden pathThere are many wonderful things about where we live —  it is peaceful, the large yard has been a blank canvas for my perennial gardening, the woods provide privacy and a hidden campground — it is beautiful, especially at this time of year.  There are walking paths, but they do not lead to any type of urban enclave of caffeine.

Someday we will again live in a community where I can walk to a coffee shop, or anywhere else.  I loved that about living in our Minneapolis neighborhood — the local hardware store and the corner market, the quirky gift shop, the malt shop (!) and two coffee shops all within a couple blocks.  It completely made up for the buses stopping and starting in front of our house and the low flying 747s coming in for a landing with our roof as a flightpath sightmarker.

Foofoo coffee has become a less frequent indulgence for me, but today felt like a good day to go.  One perk of motoring to the coffee is the ability to go through the drive-through while still in my jammies.  I salute you, oh independent coffee house barista that greeted me with a smile.  You may have been smirking about my morning hair, but I don’t care.  Bonus:  today’s tall order was complimentary because I hit my frequent caffeine buyer purchase threshhold.  Just 37 more cups and I’ll get a t-shirt.  Then I can pretend I am a barista at home!  No wait, that won’t work…

Big D sailed out the door with no coffee this morning to face a long day of kid’s volleyball.  Hmmm.  He also already finished the aforementioned raised bed garden plot;  one night this week, after working a full day and arriving home at 7:00pm, he snarfed some dinner, changed clothes and built the whole thing in one night, coming in well after dark.  “Okay, it’s done.” he said.

What?  I went out in the dark to look for myself.  It just needs the bunny fence and drip irrigation system (looking more like $64 tomatoes are still a possibility).

He operates in a parallel universe from mine.  I am happy he swings into my orbit.

Anyhoo, I have a long list of housework and yardwork projects for today (so yes, of course, I am writing this instead) and I felt it was urgent to be properly caffeinated for the day.  I could hurt someone operating that vacuum with sleepy eyes.

more inconvenient truths

30 Thursday Apr 2009

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Today’s troubling realizations (offered as distraction from swine flu and economy) —

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It is hard to find my glasses when I am not wearing my glasses.

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It is hard to make coffee when I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet.

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It is hard to buy a new swimsuit when… well, it is just hard to buy swimwear.

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So, I am just going to choose to approach life like my little friend here:

*keep my eyes open*

*slam some sunkist*

*wear shiny things on top of my head to detract the eye away from my butt*

sunkist dude

a plot

29 Wednesday Apr 2009

Posted by in Foodies, good reads, seasons

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We broke ground on our first vegetable garden plot last night.  I use “we” in a loose sense, just me pointing my finger and Big D with a shovel and a mission.  That man works harder than anyone I have ever met.  He knows I’ve wanted to try vegetable gardening for years.  Plenty of flowers around here, but the vegetables and herbs were all in containers on the deck.  There were the years of volunteer tomatillos growing by the front door, but that is another story.  I like to think that the White House garden subconsciously inspired us to make this the spring to try it ourselves.

Most years we buy a share at the wonderful local CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm, which gives us a bountiful basket of vegetables every week from mid-May to mid-October.  There are so many smart aspects of buying fresh and local; one beauty of “buying all that they grow” came in the form of vegetables and herbs both familiar and unfamiliar.  One vegetable last year had us searching online for a name — the long, green curlicues turned out to be garlic scapes, delicious, with a flavor of both garlic and onions.  I put it in everything while we had it;  and I know I would not have been likely to pick it up from a market on my own.

If you are interested in reading a fascinating account of a family’s adventure in eating completely local for one year, check out Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver.  I loved the book’s mix of themes: gardening, recipes, motherhood and family dynamics, juxtaposed with a journalistic investigation of the effects of food production on the environment and economy.  Oh, and it’s funny.  I like that too.

I have no delusions that our small plot of earth will yield much this first year, as it is a new adventure. We are giving it a casual try, with my characteristic fear of commitment.  It may just be a bunny buffet.  We have both read the hysterical book The $64 Tomato by William Alexander, about the perils, trials and tribulations of Obsessive Gardening Disorder.  We plan to keep each tomato under $10 each.  We’ll also plan to go to the farmers market as usual.

Now, perennial gardening?  That is where my time has been happily spent for years…

welcome, friends

always check the couch cushions

28 Tuesday Apr 2009

Posted by in get along like cats and dogs

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Normally I only post my own photography (other than guest author pics, etc.)  Today is an exception, since this one from icanhascheezburger.com so perfectly captures what Big D and I have said for years:

funny-pictures-cat-has-a-lot-of-extra-fur2

day at the museum

24 Friday Apr 2009

Posted by in Motherhood, Photography, Writing

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On a recent trip to Chicago, we had the opportunity to visit some incredible museums.  It was not quite the famed Million Museum March of family lore, but we packed a lot into a couple days.  This handsome fellow graced the atrium of the Field Museum of Natural History.  Turns out our local museum center membership gave us free admission to many of Chicago’s best, so we were able to come and go without those pesky fees.  The program is called the ASTC (Association of Science-Technology Centers) Travel Passport Program. What a deal!

We watched the movie Night at the Museum quite a while ago, but the scenes still fueled our imaginations — at every turn we would stumble upon something that would be very creepy to see come to life after closing hours…  Usually art museums are more my scene, but experiencing the Museum of Science and Industry through the eyes of the boys (all of them) made it much more rewarding and fun.

Reconnecting with some wonderful cousins of mine, meal after meal of fabulous food, the feeling of staying downtown in a vibrant city — some of my favorite things.  Another unforgettable moment:  doing my first book signings.  Not formal signings, just signing the stock on the shelves and seeing the “autographed copy” sticker be placed on the front.  It was a thrill for this beginning writer, no doubt about it.

{Books to Ponder} April

23 Thursday Apr 2009

Posted by in good reads

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Current Reads:

Traveling Mercies, Anne Lamott

And, of course, since I had read the story that I wrote but not the other 257 pages:  The Ultimate Mom, an anthology by Maria Bailey (I’ve heard the story on page 34 is worth a look)what a great book!

Recently read:

Whiskey Sour, J.A. Konrath

1/2 page of Afraid, Jack Kilborn

Writer Mama, Christina Katz

On Deck:

I Feel Bad About My Neck, Nora Ephron

Get Known Before the Book Deal, Christina Katz

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Recommendations, anyone?

the rest of the story…

21 Tuesday Apr 2009

Posted by in Writing

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Earlier, I wrote a post on my rookie experience as a lego robotics team coach.  Now, we hear the rest of the story!  I am so pleased to share the work of my first guest blogger, The Professor.  He wrote a personal narrative about a memorable moment in his life.  The experience left an impact on me as well.  Without further adieu:

Lego Tournament, Day Two

So, you have a mob of people here in the East freshman building. Now, split this mob into 23 teams. In one of these groups, you’ll find me amidst my friends in my Lego Robotics team, Team G.E.E.K., which is part of the mob. And we’re here for a reason.
The reason? To have fun. To finish off the day as the champion of the 1038 regional tournament.
Our team was 15th of the 16 teams going into the elimination tournament. Facing the 2nd ranked team wouldn’t be easy. The team, The Nano Killer Whales (from my school), had a high score so far of 165. Our team: 85.
First, let me get something straight. We have all had 3 runs of our robot, which are counted up in points (we get points by completing missions: move balls, lift things, etc.) and your highest run is counted as your score. From there, the top 16 teams move on to the elimination. The problem: you have 2:30 to do a run, with a possible score of 400 points (no one got over 200).
It was our turn. We eagerly (or not eagerly) took our place. My job was to keep my team behind the blue line and to call out who is operating the next program. Our first 2 people set up our first attachment, a plow-type contraption, onto our three-wheeled robot, nicknamed G.E.E.K.bot.  Speaking of G.E.E.K.bot, all the robots were made out of LEGO NXT pieces and had an NXT, a computer brain the size of a pocket dictionary that acted as the control center. It moved using 2 NXT servo motors, which are precise electric motors that can measure distance. It had a third wheel in the back that turned with the robot. The NXT fit into the robot in an upward but slightly tilted back position. As of all the teams, the entire robot was made out of LEGO Technix pieces and LEGO wheels.
3! 2! 1! GO! Our robot wheeled out of base, scooped the bricks and the LEGO bike, and pushed them into the green grid area.
“GO G.E.E.K.BOT!”
“Yeah!”
G.E.E.K.bot backed into base, the only place on the board that you can touch the robot on. The board is the enclosed space the robot moves on, roughly the size of a table. Next mission.
Leaving the plow on, this program’s operators put the tall thin bricks in the plow. Out went G.E.E.K.bot. It pushed them, turned left, and ALL 5 were on the red colored area.
“Woo Hoo!” we yelled.
The next people ran out to run the next program. They attached our platform (mounted on a servo motor to tilt), lined it up, and loaded on the LEGO person.
“GOGOGOGOGO!” we all yelled, mostly me.
G.E.E.K.bot dropped the person on the picture of the city, and backed into base. The next operators put on the polar bear figure, the LEGO person, and the LEGO snowmobile. G.E.E.K.bot turned under the weight. It dropped the objects over the barrier, and the polar bear was standing up! 5 bonus points!
Not that I was watching them, but I saw the Nano Killer Whales robot crash into the LEGO house.
SNAP OUT OF IT! YOUR TURN! My brain screamed at me. I dropped my card and scrambled over to base.
5, 4, 3!
I lined up as fast as I could and frantically pushed the button.
1! Off it went.
Weooweooweooweooweooweoo! The siren squealed. G.E.E.K.bot was already going, so I figured that it would still count. The only sound was G.E.E.K.bot’s buzzing noise. The platform was off, and in the scoop’s place was the wedge. G.E.E.K.bot drove the length of the board to the barrier. It hit the barrier and the wedge lifted up the front of the robot. It went up and… it stalled, spinning its wheels.
Shoot. My program had to be the ONLY one that failed, but looking on the bright side of that, everything else worked. A judge counted up our score.
Now we waited. We looked up at the scoreboard screen for our score. 105! A mind-boggling score for us, but The Nano Killer Whales were capable of more. Their robot crashing into the house played through my head.
There! The sound of cheering must have blasted the score right out of my brain. I think it was 75. The Nano Killer Whales all had their mouths hanging.
“WE WON!” we all were yelling. Our other rival team already lost, so we were the best at of the three (I don’t think so, we just got lucky, but who cares!?).
Next round, we were done. NOTHING worked; we ended up with something like 60 points. We were all bummed out, but we couldn’t have done better, judging on practices.
I was surprised to win the robot design award, because as far as I know, we copied the robot out of a manual (which is within the rules).  The Nano Killer Whales went on to the state championship, along with W.E.S.T., our mentor team, and two others.
Of the mob of teams that entered today, 4 teams are happy because they get to move on and at least one person (me) is coming back next year, having learned a lesson: don’t give up, because there is always a chance to do it.

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Now there is a message that I can embrace every day.  Thank you, Professor, for sharing your work with the world.

Kilborn conniption

19 Sunday Apr 2009

Posted by in get along like cats and dogs, Writing

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Jack Kilborn paid a visit to our house, and our dog had a conniption.

As usual, my adventures with this intrepid author-on-a-mission started out innocently enough.  He had blogged about his upcoming “book tour on a budget”, repeating his 2006 grass roots marketing, manically ambitious yet cunningly practical, value added, trend-setting 600+ bookstore book signing extouraganza.  (New!  Now 30% more effective than the previous formula with extra cost fighting power!)  He is promoting his new book Afraid, which I now own and has freaked me out so badly with its hard-core-gore that I can’t crack the cover again.

He had already traveled 742 miles and dropped in on 47 book stores in a couple days.  We offered this weary traveler a good night’s rest, and knew we would likely have a Saturday night far more interesting than usual.

As you may suspect, he is fascinating to talk to.  He tells great stories.  It was a hoot and an honor to have him visit and have the opportunity to shoot the breeze for hours.  Unfortunately I am such a new newbie that I did not even know what to ask him, this author with half a bazillion books in print, sitting in our living room.  After reading along on his 31 day blog tour, I had read the 283 Q&A interviews he had already done; with a mind like a steel sieve, I managed to ask lots of questions to which I already knew the answers then mentally thump myself on the head.  I hope I was at least charming in a dumbfounded kind of way.  He gave me good advice.

joe, friend of dogs I am a big fan of his blog The Newbie’s Guide To Publishing,  with its archives of extremely helpful and generous information for new writers like me.  His real name is Joe Konrath.  He’s funny.  Look at his picture.  How scary could he be?

Then something went awry…

Maybe she sensed the creative mind that wrote a scene involving a jingling dog collar with no dog in it.

Maybe she was really ticked that he would not share his beer.

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Whatever the reason, this is apparently who the dog saw sitting in the recliner:conniption producing visitor

She slept with one eye open all night.

She is, as I type, growling in her sleep even though he left the house six hours ago.

She had a canine conniption.

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They made a truce this morning, my befuddled pet and bewildered guest.  After he left, I realized I did not remember to take a picture. (Mind, sieve, daggnabbit.)

It was a Saturday night to remember.

be free

17 Friday Apr 2009

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Our old sport net/soccer goal/baseball backstop thingy is on its way to a new home.  It is old, worn, and sure not pretty;  we received it second hand from a friend five years ago.  But it still has some life in it, some usefulness to someone, so it will not fill our landfill – yet.

I forget who first told me about freecycle,  but after a quick check online, I found a local chapter.  Freecycle.org is based on the mission “…to build a worldwide gifting movement that reduces waste, saves precious resources & eases the burden on our landfills while enabling members to benefit from the strength of a larger community.”

Currently, “The Freecycle Network™ is made up of 4,721 groups with 6,591,000 members across the globe. It’s a grassroots and entirely nonprofit movement of people who are giving (& getting) stuff for free in their own towns. It’s all about reuse and keeping good stuff out of landfills. Each local group is moderated by a local volunteer (them’s good people). Membership is free.”  I can say from experience, signing up is very simple.

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Before I became freecycle-ated, I would struggle with how to get rid of our unneeded stuff.  Sell it? Donate it? Tax write-off?  Selling sounded good ($$$) — besides, how hard could it be?  It seemed everywhere I looked, people were selling their little treasures on ebay, or craig’s list, and making tidy little sums from their unwanted items.  Turns out that selling requires sequential action steps (identify item, photograph it, upload, write listing, follow-up calls, etc. etc.)  For a procrastinator, this translated into piles of stuff sitting around for a looooong time.
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Consignment shops were the next avenue.  I would go through effort to clean, press, and hang items, drive them to the store, and then be told by some young thing with her thong showing that my clothing wasn’t “what they needed at this time”.  I’d save items from season to season, trying different consignment shops — (I have a marketing background so really, how HARD could this BE?) It became a game, a challenge — surely if I take THIS item, they will accept it.  It’s NEW WITH THE TAGS STILL ON.  But no.  Their full frontal rejection of my stuff left me feeling kinda… rejected.
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Garage sales?  Don’t get me started.  I know people who make $500-800 at their garage sales, so really HOW HARD COULD IT BE???  We tried a few times.  Usually it rains.  By participating in a neighborhood yard sale extravaganza, we had our best sale ever, hauling in $35.10.  Unfortunately I had become distracted by something shiny up the street and spent $40.00 at their sale;  …well, you do the math.
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It is better to give than to receive…

Turns out it is really true.  We give to charities that will come pick up at our door.  We take loads to Goodwill trucks and to our local shelters.  I’m not looking for any pats on the back;  I think most people give goods to charities, and we had too along the way. Boxes and bags and loads of stuff no one wanted.
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But purposefully giving away the things that in my mind could/should/would be sold — this was my epiphany.  This felt good in a whole different way, a personal way.  Enter Freecycle, stage left.  No matter what the item, someone will end up wanting it.  Broken old VCR with no remote?  No problem.  I posted it on Freecycle; someone was there within 8 hours to pick it up, shake my hand with a heartfelt thank-you and say his brother-in-law is a whiz with old electronics and thank you very much, we can really use this for my wife to do yoga tapes in the basement where the kids won’t laugh at her.    Certainly now, more than ever, there are plenty of people that can use what we no longer need or want.  We used to joke about the “garbage fairies” that would drive around the affluent neighborhoods, night or day, and pick up items off the trash piles on garbage day.  I used to feel superior, really downright snobby about these early recyclers — now I see that they were, in a way, recycling before it was cool.
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One man’s trash is truly another man’s treasure + reduce, reuse, recycle. = warm fuzzies.  I give in.