Quote of the Day: “Mom, stop being Mrs. Slumpy Shoulders. That is not you.” I had never heard that phrase before, but apparently I embodied it.
I had been shuffling around upstairs around bedtime, putting away laundry, mumbling under my breath, with my body all scowly; “… people keep wearing the clothes and getting them dirty again. I wash the clothes and fold them and put them away and then people make them dirty again. And I wash the dishes and people take them out and put food on them and then they are dirty again…”
Such is the challenge of full-time parenthood — knowing in your heart that it is a privilege to do what you do, but feeling the monotony of mundane chores that are quickly undone. If you are not careful, it can give you a big-time case of Slumpy Shoulders. This was the hardest thing for me to accept when I gave up a career outside the home, for one inside its walls. Re-doing stuff I just did. Often I was re-doing things I had not even finished doing the first time. In 2001, there was no space in the Franklin Planner for that. It drove me bonkers for years.
I now strive for a state of zen-like calmness through just doing each task and being present in the moment. Each task is a gift, to myself or to others I love. Some gifts I would like to give back, but no matter. As you can see, I’m doing much better through the miracle of modern chemistry.
One concept that I keep in mind is that of C.H.A.O.S. — as in, Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. I stumbled upon this idea one day during the Toddler Years, when surfing the net to try to find my sanity. Mostly I found a great deal of retail therapy, but there was also FlyLady. While much of the FlyLady website is a little too homespun for me (not that there’s anything wrong with that), the concept of living in chaos where nothing was ever done — that struck a chord. There are some true nuggets of wisdom there, about creating peaceful surroundings, getting rid of the clutter and simplifying life, that apply whether I live in a mansion or a van down by the river, or a pretty nice middle America suburb.
Now, if I can just maintain enough order in our little castle that I am not mortified when our neighbor stops by (her house is SPOTLESS, which isn’t an acronym, there simply is no dirt there), I’m happy. It may just mean I promote a state of P.A.T.H.O.S. (Pathetic Attempt To Hide Oafishness Syndrome). But that is not a good attitude for a Friday, now is it?
I’ll square up my shoulders and call it Can Have Everyone, Everyday, Regardless! Syndrome. Cheers!
Where do I begin? This is the 4th piece of your wisdom and insight that I have read this morning….your talent and your gift for helping all of your readers to take a new perspective and laugh at ourselves…and our steps through our days…. brings me JOY……
now I’m off to get some of those engraved wooden signs made ….C.H.A.O.S and P.A.T. H.O. S. and C.H. E. E. R. S.
I’ll make sure they have the rustic chain hangers so I can transport them from my wall at home to my campsite—I’ll pack them in the camping gear next to the soft loaves of bread and the box of baggies.
This made me laugh. When we had our first son, I was really stupidly fanatic about picking up after him. My husband used to say that we needed to buy only toys that coordinated with the room so I’d learn to relax. Somewhere along the way, I’ve learned to embrace messy. Sort of. Almost…
And when I can’t I’m adopting this philosophy: Act how you want to feel. It’s surprisingly effective! (Though I’m drawn to P.A.T.H.O.S., too.)